„Aber eifersüchtig bin ich gar nicht.“: Konsensuelle Nichtmonogamie aus Sicht der Psychotraumatologie

Zusammenfassung

Menschliche Beziehungsformen sind einem stetigen Wandel unterworfen. In jüngerer Vergangenheit ist eine Zunahme von alternativen Beziehungsformen mit konsensueller, d. h. einvernehmlicher Nichtmonogamie zu beobachten. Dazu zählen offene Beziehungen, Polyamorie oder Swinging. Im Konsens ausgehandelte alternative Beziehungsformen besitzen keinen Störungswert. Wie jede Beziehung können sie jedoch durch traumatische Beziehungserfahrungen, Bindungsstörungen und psychische Störungen belastet sein. Während manche Menschen mit beispielsweise einer posttraumatischen Belastungsstörung (PTBS) oder einer Borderline-Persönlichkeitsstörung (BPS) in offen und bewusst ausgehandelten konsensuell-nichtmonogamen Beziehungen sichere Bindung, Halt und Zufriedenheit finden, kann die Terminologie alternativer Beziehungsformen auch der Rationalisierung von durch unsichere Bindung, Verstrickung und Invalidierung geprägten Beziehungen dienen, die zu schweren seelischen Krisen und psychiatrischen Hospitalisierungen führen können. Diese Differenzierung von klinisch irrelevanter Nichtmonogamie, dysfunktionaler Nichtmonogamie sowie Kommunikation und Konsens als Ressourcen im Rahmen nichtmonogamer Beziehungen soll mit Fallbeispielen veranschaulicht werden. Darüber hinaus erfolgt eine Annäherung an die Frage, wie eine entstigmatisierende und akzeptierende Haltung Menschen mit alternativen Beziehungsformen gegenüber in der traumafokussierten Psychotherapie aussehen kann.

Abstract

Romantic relationships are subject to constant change, and in the recent past, an increase in alternative relationships characterized by consensual, i. e., mutually agreed upon non-monogamy, has been observed. These alternative relationships include open relationships, polyamory, or swinging, and do not reflect a pathological deviation. However, like any relationship, consensually non-monogamous relationships can be burdened by traumatic relationship experiences, attachment disorders, and psychological disorders. While some individuals with psychological disorders such as post-traumatic stress disorder or borderline personality disorder may find secure attachment, support, and satisfaction in openly and consciously negotiated, consensually non-monogamous relationships, the terminology of alternative relationships may at times serve to rationalize relationships marked by insecure attachment, entanglement, and invalidation. These relationships can lead to severe emotional crises and psychiatric hospitalizations. Our differentiation of clinically irrelevant non-monogamy, dysfunctional non-monogamy, as well as communication and consent as resources within the context of non-monogamous relationships, will be illustrated with case examples. Furthermore, we provide preliminary recommendations on what a destigmatizing and accepting professional attitude towards people with alternative relationship forms could look like in trauma-focused psychotherapy.

Schlüsselwörter

Bindung - Borderline Persönlichkeitsstörung - konsensuelle Nichtmonogamie - Polyamorie - posttraumatische Belastungsstörung

Keywords

attachment - borderline personality disorder - consensual non-monogamy - polyamory - post-traumatic stress disorder

Publikationsverlauf

Artikel online veröffentlicht:
12. Mai 2025

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